


Breathe

by MagicStick



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angsty Schmoop, Domestic, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Alec Lightwood, M/M, Protective Magnus Bane, Random Song Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 12:04:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13410879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MagicStick/pseuds/MagicStick
Summary: When things get crazy, don't push me away...Or where Magnus knows his Alexander better than most.





	Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Hey :) this is based on one of my favorite songs in the world, Lee Hi's Breathe, which was written by the late Kim Jonghyun. 
> 
> Beta'd by the lovely Emily
> 
> I hope you like it!
> 
> Warning: hints at depression and anxiety

There was a lot that Magnus knew. He knew more spells than most warlocks ever dreamed of. He knew more languages than a mundane would ever know existed. He knew pain and sorrow. He knew joy and pride. 

 

He also knew Alexander. From the tiniest flinch of his eyebrows, Magnus knew exactly what he was thinking. 

 

Alexander had more feelings than most knew. He was also more expressive and thoughtful than most realised. It was just a matter of watching him closely enough. All those years in the Institute caused Alexander to develop a shield, an invisible wall between him and the world. Magnus spotted it the moment he saw Alexander for the first time. And by now, Alexander would let that wall down completely when they were together. 

 

When Alexander left that morning, he was calm, collected, and ridiculously in love. Magnus knew that look very well since he saw it every day. It took a lot of effort, patience, and care to put that look onto Alexander's beautiful face, so naturally it bothered Magnus a lot when that look wasn’t present at the end of the day. 

 

They would both be tired after a long day, and longed for nothing more than to just relax and be close to each other. Seeking comfort in passionate embraces or just looking at the stars together from the balcony.

 

Two hours earlier, Alexander had walked into the loft, silently taking off his boots before going to shower, offering only a small smile and a kiss in greeting. Something was very wrong. It set off all warning bells in Magnus’ mind. 

 

There were very few things as important to Magnus as Alexander’s smile, so anyone would understand how worried Magnus was. But Magnus also knew Alexander's limits. 

 

If you pushed, Alexander would pull away. Magnus knew that. He kept his feelings in a tightly closed box, and Magnus wondered sometimes what happened when the box became too full. All Magnus could do was offer a smile and wait until Alexander would show a glimpse of opening up. Then Magnus could ask what was wrong. 

 

So they went about their evening as usual, starting with dinner, before moving to the couch to watch tv. Alexander had laid down with his head in Magnus’ lap, seeking some comfort for whatever was on his mind. Magnus let his hands run through Alexander's hair, wanting to give him that comfort. But Alexander was still tense, and Magnus had no idea how to fix it. 

 

It bothered him a lot. 

 

With a sigh, Magnus shifted his attention to Alexander. 

 

“Whatever it is, I’m here, darling.”

 

Alexander sat up to look at him, but before he could say anything, Magnus gave him a look that said  _ ‘I know you better than you think’.  _ Alexander closed his eyes and sighed. 

 

“I know… I just…” He trailed off, and Magnus knew exactly what he meant. 

 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Magnus said softly, turning to face Alexander. “Just…” 

 

They sat in silence for a moment, until Magnus found his words. 

 

“I may not understand the depths of your sighs, but it’s okay. I’ll be here to hold you.”

 

Alexander's eyebrows were drawn together in confusion. “What?”,

 

“It’s a song lyric,” Magnus waved it off and sighed. “But what I mean is… when things get crazy, don’t push me away.” That brought a slight smile to Alexander's face. 

 

“Sometimes, life just gets too much, and it gets exhausting. Even if you’re just tired, and you think no one understands, it's okay. I’ll be here to hold you.”

 

Alexander bit his lip and nodded. He seemed so small in that moment that Magnus couldn’t help but to pull him into a hug, which Alexander accepted without hesitation. 

 

“It’s okay to feel this way, Alexander. I’ve felt this way many times. But please… let me know if you need comfort, because I will gladly offer it.”

 

Alexander nodded his head and let out a heavy sigh, leaning onto Magnus completely. And Magnus accepted it fully, laying down on the couch so that they were more comfortable. He pressed a kiss to Alexander's head and started playing with his hair again. It made Alexander relax even more. 

 

There were few things as important to Magnus as Alexander's smile. Nothing would ever replace the joy of witnessing a true smile from his warrior. 

 

As the Head of the New York Institute, Alexander had a duty. He wasn’t just an officer in an army, he was a leader that people depended on. It didn’t mean that he was the best warrior or the smartest thinker. It meant that he was the one people would look to for courage. Someone to listen to when they weren’t sure what to do. 

 

But even the strongest person alive needed time to be weak. It wasn’t easy being strong all the time. Magnus was a leader too; he knew what it was like to have so many people depend on you for, well, everything. It took strict self discipline to be the kind of leader that Alexander was. 

 

And when Alexander needed to fall, Magnus would be there to catch him because Alexander did that for him. More than once. Magnus owed so much to him. More than he would ever know. 

 

“See? There’s more to do on a couch without it involving sex,” Magnus quipped cheekily. 

 

Alexander snorted, his shoulders shaking a bit. 

 

“I love you, Magnus.”

 

“I love you, too.“ 

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like to prompt me, send me song requests on @ThisMagicStick on Twitter :)


End file.
